~ Miss Alice May... Ladybird. ~
The past few days have been tough. My mom's ammonia levels went up which makes her very confused and well... pretty crazy. Tuesday night was awful, I had to sit up all night right next to her because she wanted to get up every minute or so. Rambling on, most of it made no sense at all.I was calling the Hospice on-call nurse throughout the night. Everything she suggested to give my mom didn't help at all. By morning I was just drained beyond words. Bless my mom's heart. She's said all along that she would rather go to the Hospice House when things get too much for us here at home. The family agreed to let her go there until she gets better and can return home.
They are able to give her meds that I can't and keep her safe.
We're not 100% sure she'll recover this time. I was so upset with the idea of letting her go because of course it wasn't our plan. We wanted to keep her home with us. Guilt is a horrible thing. I know, I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do.
After catching a two hour nap, I went to the Hospice House to see her. It's really wonderful there. They are so caring and nice, the nurse said to me "bring your son and homeschool him here!" They have lovely family spaces and a stocked kitchen for family comfort. They insisted I go home and get some sleep. Which I did.
So we're doing one day at a time and hoping she get back to her old self soon. Don't even let me think of Autumn and Kevin's up coming wedding. The whole thing was planned with the fact that Grandma would be here." I just can't thing that far ahead right now... one day at a time.
Oh yes, Caleb went over a bump too fast with my car and now it's crazy too (just what I needed.) He felt really bad so I just gave him the "slow down lecture" I didn't have much enrgy for anything else. The tow truck just towed the car to the shop... life... a funny thing.
7 comments:
((Anet)) Sending you a private message.
Anet, one of my favorite sayings is "save guilt for sin." I know the guilt is there as you said, but you've done nothing wrong. Your mother's heart knows how much you love her, and you do have to continue with everything else going on in your life too. Easier said than done, right? Anet, I am thinking of you, and my heart is with you dear friend.
Anet,
You and your Mom are in my thoughts and no matter what I am sure your she will be with Autumn and Kevin on their wedding day, even if not physically.
Anet, sending you lots of good thought and hugs.You can only do as much as you can, and your mum wouldnt want you to run yourself into the ground.When my great gran went into a nursing home I hated it, even though it was literally round the corner to us.It sounds like there are some nice people there looking after not only her but you as well (emotionally).One day at a time is all you need to do, no one can ask more then that ,and if that gets to much then one foot in front of the other.She knows you are doing all you can, and I am sure you know that too.Hugs.
Thanks ladies... I'm truly glad you're here for me.
This stuff is so depressing! I just want to be my happy-go-lucky self again.
It feels almost as if I've been robbed of myself. I know that sounds strange.
My mom has improved and is back to her old self. Still very tired. She'll most likely come home Monday. Until then I'm suppose to kick back and relax... yeah sure.
hugs to you anet and your family...sounds like it has been a rough go of it as of late! try to take care of yourself too!♥♥♥♥
Its good that she is better and feeling more her old self:)And no it does not sounds strange to say you feel robbed of yourself, I think a lot of people feel like that when life decides to throw more then we really need at us.Try and rest if you can, but with weddings, children and life its not easy.
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